Thursday, October 22, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Also there are (lucky ?) people who are not even aware of any inner voice withing themselves. They have never heard any internal sayings or in other words they don't have so much of calm in their mind, body or spirit that they could hear one. Also there are (strong ?) people those who do hear inner voices but those voices do not bother them at all or they are able to ignore those voices through out their life spans. And then there are people like me (Confused ? ) those who find & listen their inner voices loud and clear but they are unable to understand it. Listening and then acting to callings of mind is far away thing, for a person like me the difficult most task on the earth is to measure the dimensions of own mind. Who are we? What are we here for? What is exactly we are looking for? Are we really happy? Or we are sad unnecessarily? Which happiness is real happiness, the joy of winning a million dollars lottery or moments of peace of mind ? Does everyone feels some vacuum somewhere ? These are very confusing questions. And I don't know where they come from in my mind? And I am seriously bothered by this non stop blah- blahing of my mind.
Once a friend (whom I think is the one of few persons I know who enjoy every second of their lives and who kept poking me for not enjoying my life to max as I kept wandering in search of unknown objects, told me that whenever she visits her nearby temple she feels great eternal peace and so she visits that temple daily. Now that's confusing. If she have so much of fun & joy of shopping, clubbing elite clubs, social - financial securities, having an affectionate family, keeping body in perfect shape etc, why that few moments of peace in that temple is on the top of the her list? I know she would never agree to sacrifice that 'small' peace in lieu of those other worldly gems of enjoyment. So what is real joy ?
No this has nothing to do with spirituality. I don't think I am spiritual but yes I do think God is there and I think I am curious, too curious to be worse. I have lot of questions to put in front of Him. But I also fear that if anyhow, I face Him ever, I won't be remembering a single question for Him. May be just the luminous of His presence would complete my search. And if this all is called mysticism, let it be. But I have countless contradictions in compare to a person to be in the realm of mysticism. And that's what the whole confusion is about. And that is about measuring the dimensions of my mind which don't let me take breath on one side. 'Useless show-off sucks' I am of the view point but fancy cars & bikes do attract me. My heart would enlighten with the idea of exploring the unseen world but my practical brain reminds me of my duties towards my family. I dream of having a cottage at a hill top with the view of lake amid snow clad mountains but then simultaneously I want to own a penthouse in the metro I live in. The imprisonment of our dependence on materialistic things (how many things we need daily to leave for office like cellphone, laptop (with wi-fi), wallet, keys, wristwatch, glasses etc and we feel handicap even if one thing is skipped for a day) irritates me but on the other hand I do own and wanna own the latest gadgets. I know if one has to find hidden meaning of life he needs to read 'those special' writings but those writing makes me sleepy in initial pages and rather I would read a thriller in one sitting. The list including, monetary interests, human nature, mentality, sexual interests, family bounding, religious activities is too long and my being a pendulum in opposite directions won't let me recognize myself. The quest would go on!
Is anyone else is sailing in the same boat?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
After a long wait finally rains are here. Everything around seems new, clean and so full of life. Colours are showing off at their best. The fragrance of wet earth is enlightening. I can imagine what would be the scene in hills. Numerous small and big water falls, gorges and waterways would be flowing in their full swing. White clouds would be hovering and mystifying the whole surroundings. The noise of rain drops on the leaves creating en thrilling music. What I am doing sitting here in office. I need to be there. I need to be driving my bike on those rainy roads.
Zindgi Aa Rahaaaa Hoon Main..............................!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Years back in around 1990 while I was roaming in Sangla valley of Kinnaur in Himachal along few friends, amid the small village of Sangla I came across a two roomed vocational training centre of Vanvasi Kalyan Ashram, an organization dedicated for upliftment of people of tribal areas in India. That centre was providing vocational training to big girls and basic education to small children of near by villages. Only a duo of husband-wife in their late thirties was running the whole show. They both belonged from Bangalore in Karnataka thousands of miles away from that small village of Kinnaur. They both were well educated and had their respective jobs back there and had decided to give six months for the welfare of their country and were deputed here as part of their non-paying duty. Those two rooms were their part of world for those six months.
Those few hours spent with that couple were engraved on my mind forever. With the divine surroundings of Himalayas, flowing of Baspa river, always smiling innocent people, mystic temples and Deities within, yellow harvest dancing in the fields, small houses made of stone and wood are still afresh in my heart. Sitting alone on the bank of Baspa that time I dreamt of settling there forever. I didn't know even after many years that if it was a serious thought or was a temporary attraction of young immature teen aged mind.
But one thing is for sure true, that all of my life till now, mountains fascinates me. It was not only that couple who showed me the way but as above I wrote it is in my blood which is very easily provoked when ever I see mountains. A small house in the hills is what I dream of for my retirement. The hassle basal of daily life, unnecessary competition in business and social life, rat race of earning more and more only to maintain your metro status, watching other people's possession of 'brands' and watching other people watching your possession of 'brands' sicken me. When will this blind circle end ? When I am gonna to be at my place? The place I have always dream of, the place where only peace of mind prevails.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Unlike every year this day, watching the show of 'Might of India' at Rajpath didn't let me have feel of pride for my country. Instead my heart is thickly covered by clouds of gloom and despair .
What are these Bramhos or Agni or Bhishma missiles are worth of ? What is the use of wasting money on all these weaponry ? What can a gun do if the hands handling it are not capable of pressing a trigger ? Our leaders are weak, sick and compromising. Our media is cynical and is interested only in numbers of circulation and TRP.
An Academy or Oscar award is more than enough for the people of this country to forget every slap & insult on them and dance madly on the eve of "Fight Against Terrorism". Indeed we all are Slumdogs and many of them are millionaires. Insensitive, incapable, without any self respect and ready to be crushed by any Jihadi like a stinking worm. Thanks to our DNA, the momentary anger of Indians after 26/11 is vaporised completely.
I am not a war freak but thinks, a country of 7 millions Israel, is far batter than the country of 2 billions who rocked the whole world on the killings of it's merely 10 citizens. Here leave the physical war away, the country of Chanakya has even lost the diplomatic war against Pakistan. "All options are open" boasting ministers are endlessly waiting other countries to do laundry for India. And with PM going for medical leave for another month have thrown the issue of Mumbai attacks forever into trash bin.
People here are more sensitive to save so called secularism than the safety and honour of India & Indians even if it means the burial of whole country by the hands of Islamic terrorism. Here enough is never enough. We are once again ready for another attack at another place. This is what spineless creatures are worth of. Our defence and home ministries should be re fabricated for writing dialogues in Hindi cinema. DRDO, ISRO and Ordinance factories should stop producing all these missiles or tanks and should start mass production of Ashok Chakra to be presented to Indians posthumously on every republic day. Because there will be no stopping on such award ceremonies ever.
Come on Jihadis come on ! We are again ready to be humiliated and killed by your holy hands.