The Player...........

The magical pair of hands of Vijay Ghate, who accompanied Pandit Jasraj at concert.

Live With Legendary Pandit Jasraj !

Spellbound! Memorable! Time stopper! What else one can call such a performance? Even at the age of 80, Padmavibhushan Sangeet Martand Pandit Jasraj was in his best moods when he recited different ragas at Tagore Theater in Chandigarh on 14th April.

Pandit ji started with ‘Manglam Bhagwan Vishsu’ and enthralled the audience with Mahakali Stuti, Ganga Lahari and Shankra. I don’t think even a single person in that jam packed theatre would have realised how the time flew and sat hypnotised during the two & half hour long concert of Pandit Ji. People of every age and from every walk of life were present and occupied every seat, stair, passage and corner of the theatre. Jugalbandi of Vijay Ghate at Tabla and Sridhar Parthasarthi on Maridangam won huge applause from the audience.

For me, singing along Pandit Jasraj playing in my car is a routine but singing Ganga Lahiri (Luckly I remember it by heart) live with Pandit ji was too thrilling. This performance was no doubt a cool breather in the hot, humid and tiring summer days. This can be measured by this way that even Vande who usually keeps away from Classical Sangeet, enjoyed this concert and thanked me for bringing her along.

Eagerly waiting for another such breather and this time I would carry a much faster and much bigger zoom lens with me.

Koteshwar Mahadev

The Deity was dancing with the beats of drums and tunes of other musical instruments. On the shoulders on his devotees his colourful palanquin was swinging to & fro, up & down and left & right. These palanquins are not very big or with covering, these are open one just like big stools with four horizontal wooden poles to be carried by devotees. But these are beautifully decorated with mostly blood red coloured clothes. On the top rested main idol of the face of Deity made of eight different metals. This one is profoundly decorated with garlands of scented flowers and of coins, various ornaments, golden crown and with a gold umbrella. Beneath this main idol, lined up are other various idol of same Koteshwar Mahadev. One can easily judge the peace, happiness and eternal satisfaction on the face of Devataa (Deity). It seems that people who are carrying the palanquin are themselves maneuvering it but it is said that it is Devataa himself who drives the palanquin. All the four palanquins were moving all around the fair ground which was already filled more than capacity with humble devotees of Koteshwar Mahadev. People of every caste, age and sex were present and glorifying the fair. Young and old residents of Kumarsain were coming before palanquins to carry them and were feeling lucky to get a chance even for few seconds.

I was watching the entire proceedings with devotion, excitement and curiosity. The festivity was enhanced by grey clouds and then by rain. Air was filled with devotion towards Koteshwar Mahadev who is believed to be scared soul blessed by Lord Shiva himself and one is considered King of the area of Kumarsain, a small town around seventy five kilometers up north from Shimla, capital of Himachal Pradesh. For the devotees, this Deity is not some "God" but just like their beloved family member for whom they have extreme love and respect and the one who have blessings of God to fulfill their big or small requirement or to erase their day to day problems. For them this Deity is in constant touch with its people either by dreams or through his 'Gur" the main priest. The occasion was the local festival which comes after every four years when Koteshwar Mahadev would meet his other loving deities, Marechh and Malendu Devtaa. I spent last two days at that festival and was lucky to witness the farewell of all other deities from Koteshwar. Just like young kids those departing Devtaa were so reluctant to leave that their palanquins would not let its bearers take the exit route even when Koteshwar Mahadev himself was waiting at the end of road to see them off. Only the interruption of oldest 'Gur' made them ready to leave for another four years. The festival ended with the 'Nati' (local dance) by the people of Kumarsain. The charm on the faces of idols of Devtaa seem faded a bit cause of this departing.

More pics are available at:

Sitting On The Bank !

"Actually my odyssey (for mysticism) had begun in Chicago when I was a stock broker. Working on La Salle Street at Bear Sterns made me feel important since I was on my way to becoming financially independent. I worked hard, knowing my future was set. Three years passed, and one day I walked into the office and surveyed the scene. I noted that one colleague was recuperating from his third heart attack, another was getting his third divorce, six others were using tranquilizers like potato chips, and everyone was heading to the bar daily to forget their trades. I wondered what malfunction I would acquire over the years. It hit me in a flash that this struggle was not worth it. I resigned the following week and chose the next obviously logical step in my evolution: I joined a monastery. " ............................Justin O' Brien wrote these words in his early pages of "Walking with a Himalayan Master - Swami Ram". And while taking on this book for second time I closed the book after I read these lines and my thought train left the station for yet another unknown route of unknown destination.

Though monastery was not the final destination Justin was searching for since years, but of course it was a start of journey towards the correct direction at the crossroads of his life. At least Justin was attentive enough to listen his inner voice and then also brave enough to act on it and for that he achieved what he wanted to explore all his life till that moment. Kabir ji have written :

जिन खोजा तिन पाया, गहरे पानी पैठ

मैं बपुरन बूढा डरा, रहा किनारे बैठ ॥

"Those who tried, they achieved, by entering deep waters, me coward and feared of drowning kept sitting on the bank all time." (One can interpret 'deep waters' & 'fear of drowning' in his own lifestyle but it do implement on every saint to salesman.)

Also there are (lucky ?) people who are not even aware of any inner voice withing themselves. They have never heard any internal sayings or in other words they don't have so much of calm in their mind, body or spirit that they could hear one. Also there are (strong ?) people those who do hear inner voices but those voices do not bother them at all or they are able to ignore those voices through out their life spans. And then there are people like me (Confused ? ) those who find & listen their inner voices loud and clear but they are unable to understand it. Listening and then acting to callings of mind is far away thing, for a person like me the difficult most task on the earth is to measure the dimensions of own mind. Who are we? What are we here for? What is exactly we are looking for? Are we really happy? Or we are sad unnecessarily? Which happiness is real happiness, the joy of winning a million dollars lottery or moments of peace of mind ? Does everyone feels some vacuum somewhere ? These are very confusing questions. And I don't know where they come from in my mind? And I am seriously bothered by this non stop blah- blahing of my mind.

Once a friend (whom I think is the one of few persons I know who enjoy every second of their lives and who kept poking me for not enjoying my life to max as I kept wandering in search of unknown objects, told me that whenever she visits her nearby temple she feels great eternal peace and so she visits that temple daily. Now that's confusing. If she have so much of fun & joy of shopping, clubbing elite clubs, social - financial securities, having an affectionate family, keeping body in perfect shape etc, why that few moments of peace in that temple is on the top of the her list? I know she would never agree to sacrifice that 'small' peace in lieu of those other worldly gems of enjoyment. So what is real joy ?

No this has nothing to do with spirituality. I don't think I am spiritual but yes I do think God is there and I think I am curious, too curious to be worse. I have lot of questions to put in front of Him. But I also fear that if anyhow, I face Him ever, I won't be remembering a single question for Him. May be just the luminous of His presence would complete my search. And if this all is called mysticism, let it be. But I have countless contradictions in compare to a person to be in the realm of mysticism. And that's what the whole confusion is about. And that is about measuring the dimensions of my mind which don't let me take breath on one side. 'Useless show-off sucks' I am of the view point but fancy cars & bikes do attract me. My heart would enlighten with the idea of exploring the unseen world but my practical brain reminds me of my duties towards my family. I dream of having a cottage at a hill top with the view of lake amid snow clad mountains but then simultaneously I want to own a penthouse in the metro I live in. The imprisonment of our dependence on materialistic things (how many things we need daily to leave for office like cellphone, laptop (with wi-fi), wallet, keys, wristwatch, glasses etc and we feel handicap even if one thing is skipped for a day) irritates me but on the other hand I do own and wanna own the latest gadgets. I know if one has to find hidden meaning of life he needs to read 'those special' writings but those writing makes me sleepy in initial pages and rather I would read a thriller in one sitting. The list including, monetary interests, human nature, mentality, sexual interests, family bounding, religious activities is too long and my being a pendulum in opposite directions won't let me recognize myself. The quest would go on!

Is anyone else is sailing in the same boat?

What A Heart Wants ?

Those thoughts keep coming back every day now and then. Maybe those thoughts have never left me. May be it's deeply rooted in my DNA that keep surfacing with every this n that way.

Years back in around 1990 while I was roaming in Sangla valley of Kinnaur in Himachal along few friends, amid the small village of Sangla I came across a two roomed vocational training centre of Vanvasi Kalyan Ashram, an organization dedicated for upliftment of people of tribal areas in India. That centre was providing vocational training to big girls and basic education to small children of near by villages. Only a duo of husband-wife in their late thirties was running the whole show. They both belonged from Bangalore in Karnataka thousands of miles away from that small village of Kinnaur. They both were well educated and had their respective jobs back there and had decided to give six months for the welfare of their country and were deputed here as part of their non-paying duty. Those two rooms were their part of world for those six months.

Those few hours spent with that couple were engraved on my mind forever. With the divine surroundings of Himalayas, flowing of Baspa river, always smiling innocent people, mystic temples and Deities within, yellow harvest dancing in the fields, small houses made of stone and wood are still afresh in my heart. Sitting alone on the bank of Baspa that time I dreamt of settling there forever. I didn't know even after many years that if it was a serious thought or was a temporary attraction of young immature teen aged mind.

But one thing is for sure true, that all of my life till now, mountains fascinates me. It was not only that couple who showed me the way but as above I wrote it is in my blood which is very easily provoked when ever I see mountains. A small house in the hills is what I dream of for my retirement. The hassle basal of daily life, unnecessary competition in business and social life, rat race of earning more and more only to maintain your metro status, watching other people's possession of 'brands' and watching other people watching your possession of 'brands' sicken me. When will this blind circle end ? When I am gonna to be at my place? The place I have always dream of, the place where only peace of mind prevails.

But there is one hidden fear also. The way I wail about this routine life, who can be sure of that I won't get sick of that life too? May be it's only my mind, a confused mind. They say you can not get the depth of some one's mind but here it seem true with my own mind. Or may be it's just only one colour among the millions others contained in my mind. Who knows? But no doubt this colour is what my heart is made of.

Look-alike Can Kill !

If I had another person in the car, he would have heard my heartbeat without any effort. My heartbeat had taken a vertical flight all of sudden. "Was that her?" I asked none other but myself while staring the reflection in the rear view mirror of the car ahead me.

Image of the driver in mirror of the car ahead my car was very resembling to her. We were driving in the hills and there was not much traffic on the road. The very thought of the possibility of her driving front of me had risen my pulse rate. "Damn it Praney, let her be if she is her. Why you are so bothered?" I tried to agree to my inner voice and tried to calm down. But was that so easy? I was still watching her in the mirror, trying to confirm whether it was her or someone else. But constant curves and her fast driving didn't let me be sure. She was really driving bit fast. I am a cool driver and do not drive rashly but in attempt to stay close of her so I could watch her in the mirror, I accelerated a bit.

"When did she learn driving?" I was calculating all the options of her being her or someone else. "Why not ? Can't she learn driving? It's been so many years and without learning to drive a car one is burden these days." I was arguing within myself. "But what the hell you think are you doing you fool" the inner of myself jerked me strongly. "She dumped you years back and you foolish still fighting for her little glimpse? What difference would that make if that is her or someone else. Let her go to hell damn it" I totally stand by what half of my heart was shouting. I thought of slowing down to my normal speed. But the other half was doing his job silently "Just a look and we shall leave to our directions. What's the harm?"

The lady driving front car was quite like her. She was wearing spectacles like her. Her hair were short like her (as she had in those good times). And the town ahead was her parental town. An elderly lady was sitting besides her on the front passenger seat who could be her mother or mother in law may be. There were strong possibilities of her being her. "Did she see me too?" I was thinking cause I saw her watching me back in mirror. "She did not see you when she should have and when you needed her most, what are you expecting from her now. Don't be a sentimental ass---- and be a man. Let her layoff. Why can't you erase her from your mind even after so many years?" "Fourteen years" I tried to be exact to my self. My half heart was right. In these long fourteen years for countless times I had cursed her in those sleepless nights for what she did to me and then the same time regretted my own words for her. Since then I have managed to put a brave face in front of all. I haven't seen her for over fourteen years. She was enjoying her life (I hope) and I have grown above it too (I hope). I thought I had erased her off my mind and soul. Then why her thoughts still got the power to thrill me or to haunt me if to be specific ? What made me so vulnerable and herself so permanent ? I do not know how many kilometers I drove sailing in these thoughts. That car had sped away since long. I sighed and felt pathetic simultaneously. "Come on buddy, she is gone for good and you should get over it, live your life and throw her thoughts in the waste bin once for all." My mind told me like always. I agreed like always and turned the volume high of car radio.

My breath leaped at the next turn. That car was stopped at a gas station and the driver was stepping out. My all the vows vanished in the air and I was watching her with my jaw dropped. And all sudden everything changed dramatically. She was not her. I drove past them smoothly and my mind was laughing at me. "What the hell man. what a drama it was." Both halves of my heart were silent now. No one knew what to say. I wish car FM was playing "I'll get over you" from Pretty Woman.

Moveable God !

Sometimes for a change I play pool at yahoo games. At games I hardly involve in chatting but many a times other person seems cordial and we start chatting while playing. Yesterday too, I went to yahoo games after a long period, after couple of games I joined a table for a new game with new person. For some moments game went on silently and then the other person started talking and I responded while playing. Here are the exact words we two shared.

ABCD: Hello!
ME: Hi!
ABCD: asl please
ME: 34 m India, n u?
ABCD: 23 f usa (I am not sure he/she was telling truth or no but I think it was lie)
ABCD: r u Hindu?
ME: yup, u seems to know a lot bout India or u r the one?
ABCD: no, I am half American and half Italian
ME: Nice
ABCD: I attended classes on religion and read about all the main religions of world.
ABCD: pagwan !
ME: That sounds interesting (I was genuinely interested in her/his talks) and I think you meant by ‘Bhagwan’ :) !
ABCD: so you worship statue?
ME: (Feeling her real curious about Hinduism I thought of giving my best try to satisfy her curiosity) "Hinduism is very vast and wide way of living apart from religion, there is no restriction, you can worship any foam of God, be it a statue or as infinite."
ABCD: But one who can’t move itself, how can it help you?
ME: (I was surprised at his/her attitude) Religion and especially Hinduism is too large topic to be discussed here. (And to diversify the topic I said…) lol, is for you God is meant for help only? (I wrote ‘lol’ just to avoid any heated argument)
ABCD: I think statue and shit is same thing, they can’t move.

I was astonished and then pitying on that person, I could have started arguing about his religion but taking other person as a spoiled kid I remained calm. I was thinking may be that kid has seen some ‘God’ moving in his/her life and that able to move ‘God’ may have taught him to insult other religion.

ABCD: Shoooooooot! Shoooooot! Don’t stop playing!

I was tempted of asking him which God he have seen moving or to ask him of his religion or to tell him about the greatness of Hinduism but on the other hand I knew that he/she is a gone case and was a person of sick mind so decided to remain silent. I didn’t even want to leave in between as a quitter, so I kept playing without any more word for that person.

ABCD: So your ‘pagwan’ is shit.
ABCD: Take my shit and put it ‘in’ your god and worship it, you shit worshippers.

Keeping my patience, I pocketed the black ball to win the game and that person took no time to leave the table.

I lost my interest in any more games and left the room. But I was thinking sadly what provoked that guy? The way that person vomited rubbish, how much idea could he had of any religion and he said he attended religious classes?

I never argue religion with anyone on or off net cause I don’t have to prove anything to anybody and more importantly, ‘Hinduism’ have taught me to respect all the religions. I am not attached to any particular way of worship as I strongly feel God within my heart and soul. But very politely I want to tell such kind of creatures that it is only ‘Hinduism’ in the whole world which gracefully gave shelter and passage to all the religions in India (without worrying how they behaved in return) and it is the only Hinduism which was never involved in any kind of Crusade or holy wars or to capture or convert others like all the major religions of rest of the world and cultures. Any person of healthy mind cannot deny that apart being the oldest religion, Hinduism is very polite, tolerant, forbearing, enduring, and full of freedom.

No doubt my endurance with that sick person was cause of Hinduism only. My request for such creatures: "Please wear this batch always!"

'Watch' It !

In early 90’s, in my college days, I used to get my shining black Royal Enfield serviced from a particular mechanic on much disciplined schedule. He used to regard me a lot and money for his services was never an issue among us. Many times he would refuse charging me anything, many times he would ask me to keep his fee with me safe only for his emergency time and many times he would ask me (and usually would get) for some money for his ‘half’ of whisky without any account. But story I am telling today is not of that mechanic but about something else.

The ‘workshop’ of that mechanic was so small that it consists only two hand held tool kits and one stool for himself and he used to sat outside a spare parts shop. While every service I had to buy some spares from that shop and the shopkeeper was very shrewd and used to charge too much for even cheep spare taking advantage of his only shop in that area. Being an experienced bike owner, at every purchase I used to insist him for genuine prices as I was very much aware of the prices and brands of the spares but he would simply not listen to me. I never liked his attitude and always advised my mechanic to shift his place to somewhere else.

One day there was some extra repair had to be done to my bike and some parts to be replaced. In the evening, when I went to collect my bike after repairs, while settling the account of spares I noticed some prices charged unnecessarily and other too high than actual rates. Though I filed with irritation but I had decided not to say a word. While checking his hand written bill, I saw that the shopkeeper had made mistake while calculating the amount and had wrongly written lesser total than actual. The difference was of around Two hundred fifty Rupees which may sound tiny amount today but it was a decent figure in 90’s and that too for a college student like me. The wrong calculations of that shopkeeper brought a smile on my face and I thought, “Here comes the judgement day”. For a minute a sense of honesty came to my mind and impelled me to correct his mistake but my disliking for his attitude stopped me immediately and ordered me to take advantage of his mistake. I paid his lesser calculated amount to him and inside my ego was bit satisfied by giving a slap of two hundred fifty rupees to that cunning shopkeeper.

Few days later, I had to visit a marriage function of a friend in a remote village. I along some other friends drove in my car to the nearest road around 60 Km from my town and then we had to walk uphill around two kilometers above the road to reach that village. Though we reached the village easily and enjoyed the marriage party, we faced great difficulty returning back downward on that trek. Trek was too narrow and was turned very slippery cause of the fallen needles like leaves of deodar trees. Some of us slipped and fell very dangerously including me. Luckily no one was hurt badly.

Next day while getting ready for college I saw my wrist watch was missing. “I surely have dropped that watch when I fell on that trek”, I thought while rubbing a small bruise on my left wrist and after uselessly searching entire home for my watch. Damn, it was Titan Fast track and I really loved my watch. I felt too bad for the loss. All the day in the college, I remained engulfed in bad mood and kept thinking of my watch. “You tried to be very smart buddy by saving two hundred and fifty bucks, now enjoy the party, your seven hundred rupees worth watch is gone”, my conscience started bothering me now. I felt like a defeated soldier with injured body and crushed ego. I had no answer.

On the way back home from college, I stopped at the same spare parts shop and went to shopkeeper. I handed him two hundred fifty rupees and told him that I checked the total at home and found his mistake. While handing over the money to him I expected a genuine thank-you gesture from him filled with greatness towards me but that creeper showed no such sign, put the money in chest and got busy in his business. I stand there for a second and then left his counter filled with rage for him once again.

“What was the use of this stupidity”, it was now my hurt ego’s turn to drill me. “You already had lost your watch and now you have thrown more money into waste, and that too for such a thankless person. Be shrewd, man! Who gives a shit to sincerity and honesty these days? Stop acting foolish anymore now”, my ego preached me. I spent a restless night that evening.

Is the story over? For me, yes it was. I was left with a bitter lesson and an expensive one, no doubt. But still the lesson was not a clear mandate for me. Even then I was not sure who won that battle of ego and conscience. My conscience kept assuring me that I should have return his money unaffected by his attitude or thanklessness and on the other hand my brain kept suggesting me that when he never gave a fair deal to you how come he deserve a fair deal from you? Loosing the watch was just a coincident.

It was the day, when my friend visited my home back from his village after his marriage. He brought sweets for my family members and for me, he had something special. My fast track. One of the guests in their function spotted the watch and asked everyone present there. My friend recognized that it was mine and brought it back.

I smiled from the depth of my heart. And someone else was smiling too, 'my conscience'.

Help Me Prabhu !

Hurdles, hurdles and more hurdles. Nothing seems to be working in my favour past many months. Every this and that, which I had expected to be gone through smoothly for me, have been flown into ashes in front of my eyes. Problems and failures are like chasing and then embracing me with full force.

If I have to glance through positive lenses, there are few achievements too but I know there were some certain, sure shot & essential successes which blasted off on my face hurting me inside badly. Everybody seems to be on opposite side. And this is not at all an illusion. I have seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears. Number of unforeseen and unexpected barriers has mushroomed in my way forcing me to change the route. But all the routs seem to be closed for me as off now. I have already faced a lot and I have no idea how much more is still waiting.

But here I wanna pat my back also. I have faced all the problems while standing tall and not kneeling down. I know I am alone standing against all the odds and there are couples of eyes watching me with their faiths and hopes to see me merging out as a winner. There are few who have prayed for me. I know I am not going to loose their faith. I will not let problems take me over. I still have so much of courage left to face these and much more if any. I won’t lie down, I won’t break and I won’t give up. All these problems are going to make me more strong and more powerful. That is for sure.

Just help me Shri Prabhu!

Reliance Capital (Punishment)

Monday morning, start of the business hours, you driving to your office through rush hours busy road and lost in thoughts of the things-to-do-today, hmmmm.................. to meet tax adviser, to pay installment of home loan, mail to him, him, her and him, documents to submit in bank, to plan tomorrow’s tour with company guy visiting from other city, problems of sales staff, to make calls to so and so etc.


All sudden your phone rings and when you reply (at the risk of being challaned for using cell while drive) a female, trying-to-make-sweet voice speaks, "Mr. Praney? Good morning sir, I am Mona from Reliance Capital and .................................." and here the real story goes like:

One day in May:

“Hello! Is it Mr. Praney?”
“Yes”
“I am Sandhya from Reliance Capital, are you using any credit card?”
“See Sandhya, I don’t need any card, thanks a lot.” I disconnect.

Another day in May:

“Hello Sir! Praney ji bol rahen hain?
“Ji!”
“Sir, this is Ria from Reliance Credit Card………………….
“Hey I don’t need any card, thanks a lot.”
“Why not sir?” She would still try.
“I have all the cards I require, so please, I am busy right now. Ok thanks”
“Should I call you in the evening sir?”
“I told you na, I don’t require, please don’t disturb again.” I hang up.

Another another day in May:

“Hello. Is it Mr. Praney?”
“Yeah!”
“Sir, I am Suman from Reliance ……………..”
“Hey how many times I need to tell you that I don’t want any bloody card. Why don’t you people understand?”
“But Sir……………………”
“No, you listen, please delete my name from the list you people calling me, I don’t want any card that’s it.” I would hang without waiting for her.

After some peaceful days, finally one day in June:

“Hello, Praney sir?”
“Yes Praney here”
“Sir, I am Ritu from Reliance Capital…………………..”
“Hey mere Ram. Are you guys kidding me or something?”
“Why sir?
“For hundred of times I have told your Reliance guys, that I am not interested in your card. Why don’t you people listen to me? What is your problem?”
“I am sorry sir, I was not aware at all. I will just delete your name”
“I would be highly obliged, please do.” I disconnect again.

June Again:

“Hi sir, remember Suman from Reliance? I spoke to you for credit card?’
“…………………..”
“Hello sir? Are you there?”
“Yes. I was thinking what to say to you”
“Sir please card banwa lijeye”
“Listen Miss………”
“Sir Suman…….”
“Yeah Suman, listen, I already have HSBC, HDFC and one ICICI card with me. So I don’t need another, please try to understand.”
“Sir, as you already have so many with you, what’s wrong in one another?”
“No, I am trying to close down all these too, I won’t buy a new one”
“But this is free sir”
“Buy means, I won’t go for it.”
“Sir, you should keep at least one, no one moves without a credit card these days”
“See, I don’t care for others and if I had to keep one with me, I will keep one of existing. Now please excuse me, I need to leave, Bye.” I hang up with a sigh.

But even then I kept receiving such calls from Reliance (apart from other companies) in June and July, some times Seema, another Reena, kabhi Gurpreet and kabhi Rita and I kept denying with my extreme patience. Every time I try to be rude and abusive but this was against my nature and so I kept paying for it.

That day while waiting for some one sitting in my car, I again answered a call.

“Hello sir, this is Suman from Reliance, I spoke to you that…………”
“Sorry madam, I don’t want, thanks and bye.” As I was about to disconnect, she spoke hastily:
“Aarre hold on sir, what are you doing? I am not even finished yet and you are disconnecting? A girl is talking to you and you don’t even listen?” She was literally scolding me and I was amused and a smile played at my face at her reaction. Then I controlled and said:
“How many times I have told you yaar, I don’t need any card.” I felt like I was pleading to her.
“But why not sir?”
“But why should I?”
“See, our card is a good offer, you will be getting so much benefits and moreover a beautiful girl is asking you. If you accept a card I can achieve my target.”

"What?” Damn she has started flirting I thought. “I don’t need these benefits and why I am concerned with your targets.”
“Aare, you don’t care for a requesting girl, you have such a sweet name and you doing this to me? Please get one for me.” She is terrible I thought.
“No thanks, please delete my name, bye.” I hanged.

That morning, around 10.15 driving to office and little worried for some business problems and at a traffic light phone rings:

“Sir, I am from Reliance……………………..”
“Damn, what soil you people are made off? Don’t you have ears? Can’t you listen? Or your bloody call centers are meant to harass people? Who gave you my number?”
“What happened sir?”
“For more than thousand times I have denied your stupid card. How many times I have requested your colleagues to delete my name. Do you want people to start abusing you? Would you be happy then?” I was exploding.
“I am sorry sir, I am deleting your name”.
And I hanged.

Believe me, I was not normal yet and just after 5 minutes:

“Hello sir, Suman here from Reliance, remember me?
“You people are just shameless and daring, I have to admit.”
“Why sir?”
“Don’t be over smart, you friend sitting next to you just spoke to me. Don’t you know that? Or you guys enjoy your day this way? ”
“Sir I am talking you so affectionately and you ………………”
“Hey tell me, are you flirting with me? If yes, don’t even try. Just leave me alone? Don’t ever call me again I am telling you very seriously.” I was badly furious and banged the phone.

May be that was the only way to get rid of these blood sucking creatures. Two days went peacefully.

Untill this morning:

“Hello sir, I am Shruti from Reliance …………………………………….”

Dance in Rain !

What else could I have asked for? It went only as I wanted. Only few days back I was thinking of the days we used to play in the rain. Years have passed and I don’t remember the nearest day we played in the rain. It is not that that since years I was not present at the grounds while rain came, I do many times but awfully most of the time either I was acting as referee or we can say an officer who could watch but cannot play.

Until this morning, when I came out of home at six, dark clouds gave a smiling signal. By the time I got free from my warm up and then routine workout at ground, the time seemed running backwards. Dark black clouds covered the entire sky above us and shifted the morning scene into early night with no light at all. People in the ground started packing up for home to avoid getting wet but we were determined to have the feel of rain on us.

As soon as we started playing, rain came with full force. Aha! It was so good after such a long time. We played in the rain for about forty minutes and still wanted to have more. Every single piece of thread of cloths on our bodies was drenched in the rain water. And so was my soul.

Indeed was that a great start of the day after so many days of resting cause of my previous injuries। I simply loved it। But yeh dil mange more.

Meghdootem !

Blue Meghdoots took over Chandigarh sky last evening. As the last couple of days were getting too hot, these clouds and later rain in the night really helped dripping the mercury to ease the residents. Here is the view last evening I saw while serving as a driver for her to market :) .

Really a splendid view! Feeling Blue?

Negotiations - Part Two

(Continued from previous post 'Negotiations' !)

Rohan from M/s So & So office called again.

This time in very friendly tone. "Hi Praney, how are you?"

"Fine Rohan ji, Thanks and you?"

"Me too, so what up ? Whats the price these days?" He asked.

''Prices are same boss", I was getting ready for the same tug of war unwillingly.

"I can't pay you the same price I told you before too" he said and I thought for a straight 'NO' to him without adding 'Sorry Boss, Pls boss, etc". I have enough with this guy I thought.

"But you gotta help me here Praney" he was saying, " why you push me to Delhi, please send 20 units, cheque is ready, make any discount you feel comfortable".

"OK Rohan, I will drop Rs.50 per unit", I said. He was paying in advance and I never wanted to loose this deal and this party.

"Thanks Praney, I would be needing more, my guy would call you." He sounded satisfied.

"Anytime boss, always here at your service". I surly was satisfied earning a new party.

I was smiling as soon as I disconnect the call , at last something was decided. (who knows, may be he was smiling too on the other side)

Weird Dreams

As Sudipta tagged Alka for the weird dreams and she tagged Manish, who on his turn tagged me, so here I am to perform my part of duty.

Though I don’t see much of dreams and if I do, I mostly can’t keep them saved in my memory even for the same day. So after reading Manish’s weird dreams I was wondering what to write. I tried to track past some of the dreams of mine but could not find much of them worth mentioning here. (As some of them are too weird to narrate here and are part of my private embarrassment).

But luckily today early morning I saw a strange dream which gave me word to publish this post.

1> Scene one: I got a call from one of the big bosses (He hardly calls me usually) of the company I deal in (I am into business of lighting products and not connected with media or journalism at all), asking me to get interviews of some giant Indian business tycoons. I also saw a faded face of Rattan Tata.
Scene two: I was playing some games with friends in the ground when the boss came to me in a white Maruti 800 (he would never step in any car less than Honda Civic in reality) with a Microphone and a box related to recording system for these interviews. (He only believes in taking and never in giving)
Scene three: I came out bathing from a place where so many other people were also taking shower and realize that I have lost that recording system and was worried how to get interview recorded. Then the other part of my brain suggested that I can use my I pod or should buy a new mobile which could record the long conversation. Before I could fetch my I pod or get any interview, the alarm rang to wake me for my daily workout.

2> This one I saw years back (96) and don’t know how I kept it remember so long. This one is not a very dramatic or very long dream but I still can feel the scare and thumping of my heartbeat in that dream. Years long relationship was forced to shatter and I was in the state of shock when I saw that dream (may be that’s why I saw that dream). I can’t call the dream weird but it was scary very scary.

Dream went like this, Me and she was traveling in a bus in very jovial mood. Bus was fully packed and all the passengers were talking so loudly. She too had to shout in my ear because of the talking noises of passengers and engine of the bus. I was smiling at her extreme effort to convey her words. And suddenly entire people including her vanished in the air like magic. I stood shocked in the bus all alone. Not a single person was visible and bus was running itself without any driver. I felt bloodless and frightened to death that where she has gone leaving me alone. My heart was bouncing so loud and fast and I was thinking of my remaining life in the same state forever. I woke up with shaken soul but was not lucky like other people who saw their dear ones in danger in dreams and on waking up feel relieved watching them sleeping safely next to them. I knew she had gone forever in reality also. I drank some water and went to sleep again with heavy heart only to see the same dream all over again, now in a train. Whew!

I don’t remember any other dream and would apologies to Sudipta for breaking his chain as I don’t have another five names to further tag on.

Struggle of Feast !

As the whole India was celebrating marriages week, all of us must have attended if not much but at least a single reception party in recent days. I too was supposed to attend minimum three parties but I reluctantly choose only the one where I was given a responsibility of supervision of decorating Mandap for Phere to be held at 1’o clock in morning.

Reception/ marriage parties always gave me a bad taste. If that responsibility had not been thrown on me, I would have avoided that ceremony also. I am very infamous in home for not enjoying such parties. Ladies in the family by now have judged me and have accepted that they may have to cook for this guy :( alone, even after returning from such Chappen Bhog serving parties. This has happened many times before that I have returned without eating from such reception parties.

I can never enjoy my food until served with real hospitality (Eating places are different cause I pay for my food there). The great saga of dine and wine I witnessed last night was just another stereo type experience I already had many times earlier in my life so far.

During my 40 minutes stay at the party I could not meet or locate any host of the reception. It was 10.30 and baraat was not reached there so far. I was from the girls side as the brother of bride was my friend. There were around 1000 people with their best clothes on. The place was usually crowded with decomposed ugly ladies with over floating flesh, painted with all the stuff available at their neighborhood ‘Pinki’s beauty saloon’. And guys with ill fitted suits running here and there with dishes or glasses in hands. I always wonder how come people make themselves ugly in the effort of looking beautiful.

The DJ was playing at full blast and dancing girls were performing at the stage (One of the relatives of bride told me proudly that Rs. 50000 was paid to that lousy DJ). The crowd of boys in front of those girls was throwing their arms, legs and heads in the air to make them look like dancing as if the winner of this dancing competition would be given a chance with those dancing girls. The volume of DJ was so loud that nobody could hear nobody and all the people in the reception were forced to ‘enjoy’ the music willingly or unwillingly. Those guys, who were not dancing, were standing in small groups with whisky glasses in hands while staring at dancing girls and sharing some cheap jokes. Their speed of drinking is always so good on such occasion that one would surprise. Some of the guys were experts in bumping in ladies for a momentary pleasure and asking for excuse so politely.

In the other scenario, all the food stalls were jam packed with men, women, boys and girls of all age, color, caste and creed. People were doing their best efforts to get a plate of fruit chat, fruit salad, cheese cutlets, glass of juice and etc etc etc. They would emerge from the crowd like a winning warrior if they got successful to get a plate of some eatable. Nobody wanted to let any eatable gone untried. Ladies were running to and fro to get all the stuff for their hubbies and kiddos. They didn’t want to loose the race with other ladies and wanted to receive back at least 500% of the amount of Shagun they had given to the bride or groom.

Now it was time for dinner, the crowd started floating towards dinner stalls. The first obstacle was to get a plate and spoon and after crossing that barrier successfully the challenge was to get the plate filled with stuff. (I am loosing my wits writing this as I was loosing watching them last night) Surprisingly people wont get away from the stall to make way for others even after getting their plates filled and starting eating. Back at home one should not wonder how he got shahi paneer curry spots at his camel colored Raymond’s. It was funny to watch expensively dressed gentlemen surrounding cook at tandoor with their plates almost touching his apron and begging for a piece of oven fresh hot nan.

Same were the scenes at all the stalls. I can’t understand how people who look so educated, sincere, wealthy and elite could forget all these words in such ceremonies and join the struggle of feast (fittest).

There is a word in our culture for such dinners or invitations, ‘Bhoj’, where all the guests sit down in a row and host and his family would serve them homely cooked food. They would serve you with love, regard and humble. In Himachal there is still such custom in most of the areas. Its called ‘Dham’. I always loved to be a guest at such Bhoj. But reception parties are not Bhoj nor Dham , it’s a fair where there is no guest , no host, and no one knows no one, just a free eating event, you can eat if you have the guts & wits.

May be marriages are made in heaven, but surly reception parties are not.

PS. I kept watching the crowd with Raavi sleeping in my arms and she I don’t know how managed to get her dinner. And me? My stomach was already filled being a spectator of such great sport and otherwise also a bowl of home made Dal is much tastier for me than any other specialty of such dinner bash.

Dancing Leaves

The drive was breathtaking, the scene was so heavenly. Roads were covered with the yellow and green leaves fallen from the trees. I don’t remember the last time I saw such beauty happening before me. I saw them falling on the road in thousands of numbers from tress in front of my eyes through the windshield of car.

The green road widen my eyes and pondered my heart. Breeze outside and the movements of vehicles filled the atmosphere with floating leaves. Driving my car through the dancing leaves make me feel of some sweet dream.

Surprisingly I was not driving amid the deep woods hundreds of miles away from city. The 15 minutes drive from office to bank and then back to office in the cloudy noon today at Madhya Marg was really splendid. Chandigarh is really beautiful city sometimes. The scenic beauty didn’t last for long, drizzling started and turned in complete rain washing off the roads to its original black later. But that short period was long enough to make my day.

Wish I had my camera with me at that moment :( (Here is a pic from local newspaper next day.)

'Rag Basant'

Damn I am loosing my nerves.

In the rare and real celebration of Basant, Shubha Mudgal was to perform in the town on the invitation of Chandigarh Sangeet Natak Academy on the eve of Basant Panchmi. The news sparked me up like always and I decided to be there at any cost.

I always take such decisions whenever I came to know about such events. As Chandigarh is getting one of the most happening places both ways. Artists I adore are performing here now and then. But unfortunately most of the time I miss them this or that way. To be a part of mad crowd in free entry is not my piece of cake. Passes are only for VIP’s and they too are making money outta this these days (As happened in Mohali test matches last year) and tickets for the artists I adore are always too expensive. (Is this cause I like rare performers?) So I was telling, like always I made my mind to be there for Shubha Mudgal. But obviously entry was with invitation only and as I was not VIP and had to manage a pass (not two, cause she never likes such classical).

I know how many calls I made for a pass in my circle. Some of my business parties were in advertising field and a wishful thinking was hovering over me that at least one of them would get a pass for me from any sponsor. But ha, no one was sponsoring that event or at least we had no idea. Two days were gone and by the day of concert all the hopes were vanished. As I was trying to make myself understand for the lose, a call in the noon from a friend Naveen helped me to grab a reason and told me to be home early as he would visit with his wife to see Raavi. Fine, now I had a reason to tell why I could not watch Shubha performing.

But that was not my day. And to make my remaining day more spicy, destiny urged Naveen to call again only to inform that he had to visit somewhere else and could not visit me. Fine enough, I paid a visit to another friend Ameesh who was slightly injured in a minor bike accident.

Some how the day was gone. Today morning as usual I went for my routine work out. And on the way back I stopped at another friend’s house for tea and I picked up the paper just to make my heart bounce to my mouth. A fabulous picture of Shubha performing at stage was there on the front page. The picture greeted me a ‘very good morning’ and I was again carrying a long face. The friend saw my expression and asked the reason. When I told him the tragedy I faced earlier day he jerked his head like I was a stupid and said ‘You crazy? Don’t you know ‘he’ had plenty of passes lying with him?” ‘Who he?’ I jumped off the sofa and shouted. “Naveen, who else’ he replied carelessly biting a pinni and sipping tea, ‘being office bearer of Sanskar Bharti he always get passes of such events.”

Damn you! What was I supposed to say? Immediately I called up Naveen and asked if this was true. “What do you think why I cancelled the visit to your place? It got off my mind while making program to your home and when I recalled I called you up for cancellation. So you mean you were interested? In fact I had duty to perform there and I was just at the gate to attend some people in theater when I called you.” He was more excited than me.

I was not in position to narrate him how I felt and I am not in position to write here either. But as Naveen told me and what paper wrote, it was really a captivating performance. Shubha presented compositions based on Rag Basant and Rag Bahar Bageshwari and appeared to be at her best. The concert was well attended by people who managed to add yellow in their dressings to celebrate the euphoric Basant and dedication to Ma Saraswati. ‘Indeed this was an unforgettable evening for me’ he said.

Never mind Naveen, this was indeed an ‘unforgettable day’ for me too. But the good part is that Naveen promised me to send every pass he would receive for such spirited occasion in future. May be that is going to get real spirit of Basant for me.

Damn I am loosing my nerves again. Just can’t wait for another such evening to be a part of.

In the Lap of Devbhoomi !

That was the way I always loved. A great start to a new year. 13000 ft height, -7* temperature and 12 km trekking of snow cladded path to freezed lake of Serualsar.

Sona's birthday gave me an opportunity to revive my thrust for Himalayas. Jalorijot pass is around 140 km up north from Shimla capital of state of Himachal Pradesh (Devbhoomi- Land of Gods, as its called). At around 10300 ft height Jalori Pass connects inner and outer Seraj valley. Another victim of today's global warming, Jalori used to obtain 20 to 25 ft of snowfall in good old days but now days its only 5 to 8 ft. And when I reached there it was not even that much of snow. On the name of population Jalori have only a tiny temple and a couple of tea shops being run by local villagers of nearby lower areas.

When we reached there in the noon of 6th January, the bone chilling breeze was challenging us to stay steady on our feet and was comfortably reaching our skin through heavy and thick layers of warm clothing. As if this was not enough, Rajeev asks us to take off our shoes (socks we removed ourselves as no one could afford them to get wet in snow) to offer prayer at temple. I could not understand either my feet were burning or freezing. Trust me, the pain of burning or freezing is almost same. It took around 10 match sticks and 3 pairs of hands to lit the Dhoop at temple. After we somehow managed to wear our shoes back on, we started for the Serualsar lake, around 6 km trek from Jalorijot.

With panoramic view of thick oak forest, snow covered peaks and steep gorges, the trek to lake was just terrific. As the snow on trek was week's old and thus freezed, it was really tough to keep step steady. Paramjeet fell twice on the ice as he was not experienced to walk of icy trek. At some points the trek was so narrow that a loose step could start a non stop toss into endless fall. On the way to lake we were joined by three local lads. One of them, Lagan Dass was amateur singer and on our request he sung some melodious Himcahali songs for us.

It took us two and half hours to cover the distance. Soon we got the first view of lake. Whew! It was breath holding, surrounded by small hills and dense oak trees the lake was all freezed that one could walk on it. On one side of lake was two small treditional wooden Himachali temples of a devi called Budhi Nagin Mata. One was around 50 years old and other was newly built in the same style. The idols of Budhi Nagin Mata were recently shifted to new temple.

The lake is at around 12500 feet height. According to local saying, ancient sage Shring Rishi meditated there, a golden temple is lying underneath the lake and Aabhi named birds keeps the lake clean of all the leaves or other stuff. To my surprise, even being surrouned by various trees, not even a single leaf was there on the bed of lake. The temple and lake is worshiped with ghee and it is a custom to encircle the lake with flow of ghee by devotee if a wish is fullfilled.

The depth and source of water in the lake is unknown and according to saying once a man from local town to keep his promise offered a pair of gold earrings in the lake after his wish for son was granted. But on the way back to home, feelings of lose of gold engulfed him. He thought may be a son was written in his destiny otherwise also. What this temple has to do in it? It was such a waste of money to throw gold earrings in the lake. In the midway around 30 km downwards from the lake, he stooped at another temple for water at a natural water fall. As he put his palms under the water fall for drink the same pair of earrings came along the water in his hands. This temple was of the husband of Budhi Nagin Mata of Serualsar. He was very happy to get his valuable back only to realize that his only son was dead when he reached home.

After we performed pooja at temple, it was time for pait pooja. We found a shelter to protect ourselves from cold air and ate aloo paranthas made by Sarita with green chilli chutney made by me and hot milk.

After spending an hour at lake we started back for Jalorijot at 3’o clock. On the way back we also found a couple of empty mud huts made by sadhus for shelter in summers. How do they people feel like while living at such places? Anyway, its nice as long as you keep walking as it keeps you warm but as soon as you stop you start shivering of cold. Back at Jalori pass all of us drank tea at Mamji’s stall.

Around 10 km from Jalori to Khanag is a beautiful old bungalow now a rest house of PWD. It had nice veranda and lawn in front. If ever I could get one in my life, it is going to be exactly the same.

We reached Kumarsain at 8 in the evening and after saying goodbye to Rajeev and Sarita, I and Paramjeet started back for Chandigarh.

This was my another memorable yatra only possible cause of Rajeev & Sarita (and of course Sona). God bless them. This was great start of year and I really wished for at least two more such trips in this year. Let’s see what God has kept for me!!

Negotiations

An unfamiliar number was flashing on my cell as I reached home from office in the evening.

“Hello” I answered the call but I didn’t receive any response from other side though I could hear a confident male voice talking to someone else on the phone other side. It appeared that this guy dialed my cell number and started talking to another person in his office. The caller didn’t seem to be in hurry to get back to me as he was sounding like he was sure that I would wait for him to start talking.

After few moments he spoke, “Mr. Praney?”

“Yeah!” I replied wondering who could he be.

“I am Rohan from M/s So & So’s office. I am in impression that you met my MD regarding your product. And also left a sample in my office?” He said.

“Oh Hi boss, how are you, what can I do for you?” I felt a positive wave of prospective business deal inside as he introduced himself to me. I recalled my visit to his office couple of months back.

“Ya fine Praney, I need some of your products, though we used to procure the same from New Delhi, but those guys are out of stock and I saw your business card in my office, so I thought of calling you, other wise I would have not. So tell me what can you offer me?” He said with a tone of authority and I am sure he must be having a raised eyebrow while throwing these words at me.

I felt little pushed. Is that guy really mean what he is saying? “Otherwise I would have not called?” To the hell with such guy, I thought for a second but immediately I controlled myself as I always try to be a cool headed businessman.

“Thanks for calling John, its Rs.3200 plus taxes per unit.” I said in a welcome tone with a smile on my face even though he could not see it.

“Plus taxes? But that day you said Rs.3200 including taxes.” He bluffed I knew. He was not even present there at the time of my meeting with his MD.

I replied very politely “No boss, it is surely Rs.3200 Plus 12.50% tax.” But he repeated himself more adamantly.

I said, “Very humbly I want to tell you boss, that I quote and mail above prices around ten times in a day and you I am sure, don’t deal in such products even twice a month. So you may get confused about the price but I certainly can not, so it is Rs 3200 Plus taxes.” My entire positive wave was vanished in the air by the time I was saying these words.

“Hmmm!” He was pointless at my statement but he had another ways to show his superiority complex over me. “Ok fine, but I want you to make it Rs3200 included taxes.” He demanded.

“Come one boss, taxes are 12.50%, how come I can bear 12% myself, do you think we have so much profit margins in these days of competition? Or are you asking me for the material without bill?” I was wondering.

“No, I need bill, what would be your input in such case, anybody can do that.” He didn’t even try to lessen the sharpness of his words.

“Then how it’s possible for me to reduce the price?” I said giving up.

“I don’t know anything, this you have to decide yourself how you do that, I need around 50 units immediately. We are very satisfied with our Delhi vendor but still I am asking you”

I didn’t know why he was telling me again and again about his unwillingness to call me, may be the institute from he got his MBA degree has taught him such way to negotiate.

“See boss, I don’t wanna loose this business and I would really appreciate any association with your company, that’s why I already quoted best offer to your MD. Trust me, we are already selling at same price even to the parties with the requirement of 200 Pcs in a shot. And we are offering you one year replacement guarantee. Our product is assembled with parts from world’s number one companies. Please don’t compare it with other brands. I can explain the differences if you can spare a minute” I made my last try as I was really very honest with that guy and trying enough to make him understand my view.

“No no, I don’t wanna go through technical things, just tell me can you offer me at Rs.3200 including taxes or no?”

‘Sorry boss, it’s impossible.” I had no other polite reply in my mind that time.

“Fine!” and he disconnected.

Why did that guy call me, what did he gain with such attitude. Or my attitude was wrong? Should I have reduced the price? But he wanted me to reduce 12% flatly and it was really not possible at all. I could have reduced 2 or 3% but that too would be a cheating with my other parties. And the way he sounded I am not sure he would have accepted that discount. Cause he was so happy with his Delhi guy.

I could not enjoy my dinner that night, don’t know why. Either it was due to the loss of a prospective client or 10 % profit which I could have earned by this deal or cause of my failure as a businessman to struck some deal.

Should I have satisfied myself saying, “Let him go, you can’t win them all?”

Or it was his failure to get something at his own terms??

Who gonna decide that??