No, I am not scared, I am not afraid of those terrorists or their unexpected bomb blasts. But yes, I am angry, I am very very furious .
Since 26th November midnight I kept glued to my TV, switching to different news channels, watching shamefully that blood boiling act of Jihadis. I saw those young terrorists roaming around in railway station and those who were in police van firing indiscriminately at Indians. I listened to one terrorist who called up a news channel and kept repeating his motives and motivations. I did not want to listen him, but I did, I wanted to snatch his words and gave him fitting reply but I couldn't. I wanted to crush him under my heel but I couldn't. I shamefully saw the fire in Taj, blasts in Trident, cries of various people trapped in the situation for long sixty hours. I am so ashamed that I could do nothing to protect my country, my home. I still feel so helpless that despite watching news I could not do anything.
Despite flooding with anger, frustration, provoked thoughts and counter plans, I could not write a single word since that day till now. I have always argued to people who criticise India or its system. Even agreeing to them in a corner of my heart I always pretended to oppose them as I never can support criticism of my loving country. I always hated people who say they don't like here, they don't like the system of this country or they don't wanna live here. I always tried to shut their mouths and if possible shut my links with such persons. But today, I feel like saying myself, "I am ashamed of being Indian". The reason? I think, had I been the citizen of US, there would have some value of my life. Someone would have taken avenge for my blood. But here in India there is never an "Aar ya Paar" thing but only words, words and mere words. Sometimes I think what in world should our enemies do that our government take some real strong steps? What is this world could be the sheerest slap on our face that we got up with rage and say now its enough? What on this earth can be the deadliest attack on our Nation that our leadership shout back that either we will take revenge or let the Indians be eliminated once for all?
Sadly, our enemies have tried everything, let it be the four invasions, decades long terrorism, lakhs of dead Indians, countless blasts, dozens of assassinations, attack on assemblies or even parliament, hijacking Indians planes, getting their arrested leaders released, freely roaming around and having capabilities of planting bomb anywhere anytime, they could not make blood boil of any of our leaders (irrespective of any political party) in these sixty years. Seems like our leaders never had any blood in there veins.
Now, when smoke is clearing in Mumbai, Indian government has performed its custom of issuing warnings, some resignations have been written and new promises have been made, Mumbai is getting back on its track like they say of its so called 'spirit'. Prevailing of normalcy can be seen by the revolt of Narayan Rane. The stray street dogs who were stunned and hiding with the impact of sudden blasts are now normal and have resumed barking and fighting over a piece of bone in the trash bin on the road.
The images of this terror attacks are now travelling in the world. Each picture shakes me up. Since 26th, my anger is holding back my tears within myself. But I don't wanna cry, I will not cry. I want to keep this salty water save in myself. I don't want to waste it. I am moved with the awakening of common Indian. I am touched and delighted with the movement of every Indian heart this time. I am happy that senses of common Indian people are live and that at least their blood is boiling. I am praying to God that please don't let that awakening die by the passage of time, I wish every Indian will not let these images fade off their hearts ever. Because if we Indians will keep this fire burning in our hearts, no one on this earth can eliminate us. No Jihadi can terrorise us. We will charge back at them with full force no matter how many bullets enter our chests or of our beloved ones. We will torn these rats apart.
After failing of our system, its time now to stand ourselves and protact our beloved India ourselves. I am still optimist, I still listen to my heart who is saying, " I am proud to be an Indian" !