Monday, April 16, 2007

My Dream





Just another dream !

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just another dream.......
Dreams do come true.
God praney r u in LOVE ?
Every line so full of love dear.
I am lost in ur poetry.....

Deepak jeswal said...

Those who dare and dream, they win. And you did too. Loved both the poems!

Manish said...

Without any elaboration, this one is notches above your first one. Terrefic stuff. One more reason to get hooked to your blog.

Praney said...

Thanks a lot Deepak & Manish!

(Just hope you guys are serious, lol )

Anonymous said...

Too beautiful and romantic dream.

Really love this one.

But my suggestion is here

Yeh khwab dekhta hoon main seems repeatations.

It's would sound more better if you write the 3rd and 4th line of antaras as the mukhada then it would be more effective one and would be much much better.

for the example :

Tum sneh se niharti, yeh aankh dekhta hoon main
haath humhara haath mein, yeh khwab dekhta hoon main.

like this for others too...

might you use the word - "pyaar" and "roop" respectively in 2nd and 3rd.

Or you fine better words.

This is simply my friendly suggestions and what I felt you know that I'm too blunt in giving my views :). If you don't like then I'm sorry.

Praney said...

No need to be sorry Juneli, thanks for your suggestions .

Anonymous said...

Now the changes really made the poem awesome!!!

I don't know whether you feel in that way or not.